JOIN THE COLLECTIVE
Your individuality is a small price to pay for purpose.
BARISTA
Fuel the agents who protect reality. Must be comfortable creating void-foam art and handling beverages that may scream when sipped.
- High-Risk Hazard Pay
- Non-Euclidean Latte Art Skills Req.
CEO
A figurehead position for public reassurance. You will have no decision-making power and will primarily serve as a visual anchor.
- Symbolic Authority Only
- Must possess a calming geometry
CLOWN
Cognitive Hazard Division. Deployment in high-stress zones to induce confusion in hostile entities. Honking is mandatory.
- Heavy Makeup Required
- Cannot be afraid of mirrors
GRAVEDIGGER
Database and Archive Maintenance. Responsible for burying 'dead' files that refuse to stay deleted. Shovel provided.
- Night Shift (Eternal)
- Digital Exorcism experience pref.
HOTLINE OPERATOR
First point of contact for citizens experiencing reality failure. High scream tolerance required.
- Excellent Listening Skills
- Sanity Insurance Provided
INTERN
Entry level position. You will be exposed to raw conceptual matter. Survival rates are within acceptable margins.
- Unpaid (Experience is Payment)
- Disposable
PUBLIC RELATIONS
Convince the world that everything is normal. Mass hypnosis or meme magic knowledge preferred.
- Charisma Level 10+
- Ability to smile while lying
R&D SCIENTIST
Innovate new ways to stabilize (or destabilize) existence. Lab coat must be white. Morality optional.
- Mad Science Degree
- Explosion Resistance
RECEPTION
The Gatekeeper. Manage the front desk and prevent unauthorized entities from entering the lobby.
- Stoicism
- Spatial Awareness
"I didn't choose the Triangle Agency. It appeared in my living room and I just started working." — EMPLOYEE #48812